It late, and this post finds me a bit more vulnerable than normal. But I just wanted to share my breakthrough tonight: I've grown so accustomed to doing everything alone--navigating both my struggles and my victories on my own--preferring to be in control and keep my distance rather than open up to others and allow them to really touch and affect me.
Tonight I was in breakdown, both physically and mentally. And I realized that not only have I kept people at arms length, but I've also resisted God (at least from my perspective...though I know He/She hasn't gone anywhere)--thinking I got this by myself.
Tonight I acknowledge that not only should I not do everything by myself, but that I *cannot* do it by myself. And that we're made to be in relation to each other and support each other through this journey of life that we're in together.
So from now on, you can count on me to ask for support (even when my pride/ego tells me I got this), and to give support wherever it's needed. I'm leaving the "Lone Ranger" self in the dust.
And in that vein, thank you to all those who supported me tonight. I found that there's a gift in being able to receive, not just in being able to give all the time.
Alright, over and out, y'all.