It’s been one year (to the day) since I left my job in Santa Barbara, California. One year ago this week, I'd sold most of my things, said goodbye to my team, my apartment, the ocean and the mountains, the friends, the steady paycheck, the certainty, the routine… Here are a couple excerpts from my journal one year ago, and my journal today:
June 1, 2012:
[It's 9pm and I just left the office after my last day after three years at Deckers/MOZO, a 12 hour day, sitting at Starbucks now, finally breathing and feeling where I am for the first time in a long time]
Today was a busy day, just like any other, with the difference being that when I walked away from my desk and my cube this evening--I walked away from it… hopefully forever (whoa… "forever"...that's a big word). As much as I've loved what I've learned these past few years, the people I've worked with, and the connections I've made, I'm excited (and let's be honest… scared sh*tless) about designing my life from here going forward.
I feel as though I'm not just stepping out of my comfort zone by leaving my physical trappings of a corporate job and all that it entails… but I'm stepping out and away from my old self who was satisfied with "good enough" and the status quo, when I know that ultimately, I have more in me.
From now on I want to play full out, engage with the world full out, and think + question full out. And I can't wait to get started! Today is the first day of the rest of my life, and I've never been happier not knowing where this will lead me. ___________
June 1, 2013 [today/one year later]
It's absolutely incredible how much has happened in just one year. I made a list of just a few of the things that have gone down in the last 12 months.
Since last June 1st, I…
- Drove 17,767 miles solo around the US - Stayed with over 80 friends/family members along the way - Experienced new peaks (and new valleys) ...literally and metaphorically - Wondered "what the hell am I doing?" More than a few times… But have kept on going - Experienced tons of personal growth and insights about myself - Found myself, lost myself, found myself again - Surrendered to spontaneity - Spent much of my savings (In what I feel like is more of an investment than actual spending) - Met my two new nephews! - Advanced out of novice in West Coast Swing - Reconnected with so many friends and made new friends along the way
- Moved to a new city with no apartment, no job, and no set plan - Found my apartment (complete with a pond and a swan!) within the first week being in Dallas - Designed my apartment so that I absolutely love it - Am living by myself for the first time (for real) - Found a job that I'm excited to do for the time being, and which pays rent - Decided to write a book and have started writing it (hitting the interwebs near you: Fall 2013) - Hired my first coach to help me finish said book - Now feel my sense of direction pulling me - Am forging my own path (definitely not easy, and can be rather scary at times, but definitely worth it) - Am establishing a sense of pride and trust in myself and my heart, which continues to grow each time I do what I say I'm going to do - Am feeling alive and excited to greet the mornings (including Mondays) - Am reconnecting with my faith and am actively learning more and questioning to find answers - Am getting to spend many of my days now "in flow" as I write, finding that time just slips by and I sink into something that pushes me, inspires me, and constantly surprises me
I'm so incredibly grateful that I jumped on this chance when the window of opportunity presented itself. I've felt incredibly led/guided this whole way, so even in my darkest moments of "what have I just done?" there's something there letting me know that things will be alright as long as I just. keep. going.
I am also so grateful for my family's support along this way--not to mention the countless friends, too. I feel directed for the time being, and I'm eager + willing to see where this will lead me. Loving the dance.
Amazed at the last 12 months-and eagerly anticipating what's around the corner in the next 12! Cheers! *clink*